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I just need time to try to figure out who I am, to see how I handle being Bailey Stenstrom instead of being R.J. Hartley's girlfriend or Jack Stenstrom's daughter. I wish there was a way I could figure it out and still be both, but if there is, I can't find it. If you know of a way, I'll be happy to listen."I got a pretty big dose of just being me over the holidays. I didn't really like what I saw. I was a mopey, whiny, kid who had no idea what to do without asking someone else first. But I also got a taste of what my life is going to be like without you in it. I wasn't real fond of that, either."I told Bailey I wasn't sure if I could be a very good friend to her."I still have a lot of anger," I said. "Rightly or wrongly, I blame you for shutting me out, and I blame you for ruining my trip to Arizona. I'm not saying it's completely rational but it's the way I feel right now." I watched SportsCenter every morning," she said morosely. "There was a running debate about whether you had. . Sexy ... Desirable.We just had one sled and for a while we took turns going down the hill behind the house. I don't recall where we got the sled, but finally we started going down the hill together. Nancy would sit in front of me as I wrapped my arms around her and then she would lean back against me. Once when I put my arms around her, one of her breasts ended up nestled in my hand. I quickly removed my hand. The next time we went down the hill and she leaned back against me, she took my hand in hers and replaced it on her breast. One of the next times when we were at the top of the hill and nobody was watching, Nancy kissed me.The next trip down the hill resulted in me holding both of her breasts in my hands and as I held her, she leaned back against me and looked up at me. In a soft voice she told me she liked me holding her.Finally I decided we had enough sledding and I asked her if she would like to go someplace a bit more private. She hung her head, but I saw it bob up and.
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